Misunderstandings

 

A misunderstanding can cause so much frustration!
An innocent bottle of dishwashing liquid became the centerpiece of a mix-up that had Janet and I both very frustrated.

 

It was our first year as short-term missionaries in Japan. As I was leaving the house to go to another city to teach English, Janet asked me to pick up a bottle of dishwashing liquid on my way home. I stopped at a small store near our house and brought the item to the counter, only to discover that I had forgotten my wallet. The lady said, "No problem. Take the bottle and pay me tomorrow." This was a small town, and everyone knew who the foreigners were and where they lived. The Japanese are very polite toward foreigners, so this was a kind but not unexpected act of grace from the store owner.

The problem was that the next day I had to leave for another assignment before the store opened. So, I asked Janet to take the money over. She was reluctant because of her little language ability. I assured her that it was just a simple drop off of the money - the lady would know what it was for. But unfortunately, things were not that simple.

 

Furthering the misunderstanding, was my failure to let Janet know which store to go to. There were several small stores in our neighborhood. I just assumed she would go to the one that I was familiar with. Making assumptions is one of the biggest reasons that misunderstandings happen.

 

Well, you guessed it, somehow Janet went to a different store! She smiled and put the money on the counter and turned to walk out. The lady quickly ran to Janet and gave the money back. Janet, not knowing what to say, walked over to the shelf, picked up a bottle of dishwashing liquid and pointed to it. Then she put the bottle back on the shelf and attempted to hand the lady the money again. The lady refused to accept it. Frustrated, Janet didn't know what to do. She ended up putting the money on the counter and quickly exiting the store!

 

When I got home, we realized the problem. I told Janet that I would go to the store and explain what happened. She was wanting to make sure that it was explained completely and correctly, so, knowing my Japanese was still at a basic level she asked our senior missionary, Cliff, to be the one that gave the explanation. So, Cliff gladly went and helped smooth things over. Life can be riddled with  misunderstandings.

 

And misunderstandings can lead to much more serious difficulties than this dishwashing liquid debacle, especially when anger enters the picture. 

 

James chapter 3 talks about the power of the tongue and the difficulty of controlling it. During arguments we can often say things we later regret. When attempts are made to "make up" often heard words are "that's not what I meant," or "I'm sorry, I was angry and said things I didn't really mean." Emotions play a big part in causing misunderstandings. Our conversations should be in an attitude of love. 

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4–5

 

Probably the best advice to avoid misunderstandings is found in these well-known verses:

 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19

 

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