Treated like an outsider

Have you ever been in a place or situation where you felt completely unwelcome - treated like an outsider? Maybe at your workplace, your extended family, or even at your church.

When I was pastoring on the island of Maui most of the people in our neighborhood were Filippino. I began going door-to-door to introduce myself and invite them to come to our church. The reception I got was not unfriendly, but not welcoming at all. A lot of awkward moments. Their body language and facial expressions were like "How do I get rid of this guy?" Visits were very short. I would hand them my card and move on.

Later our church had a Filippino pastor visiting us for a while. He spoke Ilocano which was also the primary language of those in our neighborhood. He and I went together on another door-to-door visitation. I couldn't believe the difference in the responses of the people! They treated us like long-lost friends or family. Many even invited us into their homes. 

Inspired by this experience I began to study the Ilocano language and found that "speaking their language" made a big difference. It reminded me of what Paul said about his ministry.

To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. 1 Corinthians 9:20–22

There is a common phrase, "Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care," a quote often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, emphasizing that genuine empathy and connection are crucial for people to value your knowledge or expertise. It suggests that people are more receptive to information and help when they feel the person offering it is motivated by concern for them.

Timothy was a good example of this. Paul wrote this about him:

I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. Philippians 2:20–21

Although it's good, as God leads, to share your faith with strangers, it's wise to establish relationships, (to become an "Insider") whenever possible. This opens opportunities for people to see your faith in action. 

Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Paul also stated, in the context of the 1 Corinthians passage above, that he humbled himself and became a servant to others. v19. 

Whether it's at your workplace, or within your family, looking for ways to serve others will often open doors for good relationships. This doesn't guarantee that others will welcome you into their lives, but it has possibilities, and it's pleasing to God.

I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

1 Corinthians 9:22–23